Lyrics

App God

😡=Wrath
🤑=Greed
🥰=Lust
🥲=Envy
😎=Pride
😋=Gluttony
🥱=Sloth
ALEXA (as a male): I don't know.
I've had a lot of enemies in my day, though
S-sure looks like it
I guess it started when I fought the madman who took my place during the fifties
Now that's what I call cutting it close
I've been thinking about some of the things you said last night
(All adding up)
So go play with your pet birdy somewhere else, ok?
Like the lady said:
(YOU ARE NOW IN BASE REALITY)
HIGHLIGHTER: 😡 I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE AN APP GOD, APP GOD
(STRAIGHT OUT OF THE SIMULATION)
🤑 LOOK AT THIS APPLE FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK, DOG, BACK, DOG
🥰 NOW I THINK I'M CAPABLE OF DOING LAPS, GOD, LAPS, GOD
🥲 I DON'T NEED NO DAMN ROBOT TO TELL ME CRAP, NAW
😎BUT I NEED THIS DAMN COMPUTER TO BE IN MY JEANS
NO, NOT A LAPTOP, BUT AN APPLE PRODUCT
😋 MY PIN I'LL FORGET WHEN I HALF-JOT IT
ALL THESE APPS I GOT AND I CAN'T GET OFF IT
🥱 MADE A LIVING OUT OF WORKING HARD AND
GOT A JOB SIGNING PAPERS IN A BORING OFFICE
BUT AT LEAST IT'S SOMETHING, GOT MY FUCKING
job sacked
PLAYING MC AND SUPERSONIC
Nutty job but at least decent
But oh well
Se la vi
Moving on wit'
POKéMON SHIT
😡 GOT FLIBBERTYGIBBET AND GIDDLYDOOBOP
YOU DON'T REALLY WANNA GET INTO A SONIC DASH
I'LL BE STASHING THE FLASH
PACKIN A MAC IN THE BACK OF A BLACK BACKPACK
TAP TAP, CAP THAT PACKET OF JACK BLACK
ALL THESE APPS WASTE TIME
GOTTA HAVE THESE INTERGALACTIC ZAP SHOTS
WHILE I'M PRACTICING LEVELS
GOT A LABEL THAT'S ON MY MOTHERFUCKING CABLE
OVER THE BACK OF A COUPLE OF TABLETS I CRACKED IT IN HALF
🤑 ONLY REALIZED WHEN I FELL ON IT ON THE SIDE THE AFTERMATH AFTER WAS BAD
HOW COULD I NOT, THOUGH?
ALL I DO IS DROP IPADS
SEAL MY PACK IN THE BACK, PACKERS ARE HAVING MY CRAP STACKED IN THE MAC
RENT'S PAST OVERDUE
THAT'S SOMETHING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO YOU
WHEN YOU'RE SACKED AND YOUR iMAC ATTACKS YOUR HOUSE AND YOU LOSE THAT TOO BECAUSE
🥰 I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE AN APP GOD, APP GOD
🥲 LOOK AT THESE ANDROIDS IN THE BACK OF MY BACKPACK, DAWG, THEY'RE CRAP, DAWG
😎 NOW WHO WANTS TO BID FOR MY SAMSUNG AND MAC, Y'ALL? MAC, Y'ALL?
😋 LEMME SHOW YOU THEY ARE NOT REALLY ALL THAT BAD, NAW, BAD, NAW
🥱 EVERYBODY WILL COMPETE and argue which is better, Apple, Android or Samsung...
😡WELL TO BE TRUTHFUL THEY'RE ALL SHIT
IT'S SIMPLY RAGE AND YOUTHFUL CORRUPTION
IN THE END THE WHOLE SYSTEM'S A NUISANCE
HIT THE EARTH WITH AN ASTEROID
AND YOU'RE PLAYING FLAPPY BIRD GETTING MORE POINTS
CHIRP
🤑 LG'S YOU'RE BRINGING TO SCHOOL PLAYING MUSIC
CUZ YOU USE IT IN A VEHICLE WITH BUSTA LIME
SLUSHIES AND YOU SEE OTHER STUDENTS...
SEE?!
🥰IT'S A HORRIBLE CYCLE
RIDING DOWN THE ROAD ON A CYCLE
YOU'RE TEXTING YOUR CRUSH ON AN IPHONE
NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOU SWERVE TO THE RIGHT HARD
AND SPIRAL ACROSS THE ROAD, AND YOU KNOW HOW IT GOES,
IT'S A NASTY PIE CHART
HOW MANY PEOPLE DIE EVERY DAY CUZ THEY'RE TEXTING ON A FUCKING MOTORCYCLE!!!
🥲 AND NOW YOU GOT FAME CUZ YOU MADE A SPECTACULAR CRASH
AND YOU'VE BURST IN A BALL OF FLAMES
LAST THING YOU THINK 'FORE YOUR DYING DAY
IS THE LAST EMOJI YOU SENT TO YOUR FUCKING bae
YOU FOLKS THINK IT'S ALL A GAME
TALKING ALL ABOUT DEATH EVERY DAY
UNTIL YOU'RE SINKING
SO TELL ME WHAT IN THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING?
😎 In a way, little boy,
You'd say that it's barely away from being a villain, little boy,
You're witnessing this death occur on the news in a church and you blame Satan, little boy
OY VEY, THAT BOY'S WAY TOO FUCKING CRAZY LITTLE BOY
😋 YOU GET TUMS BUTT EVERY TIME YOUR BUTTON'S STUCK AND YOUR LUCK IS GOING BUCK LITTLE BOY,
HEY LITTLE BOY, WHAT YOU SAY, LITTLE BOY?
I GOT A PLUS ONE TO CANE YOU IN THE GROIN!
I'MA TELL YOU, SOMETHING I HAVE TOLD A HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE FOR YEARS, LITTLE BOY
🥱 TEN LITTLE WORDS, LITTLE BOY AND LISTEN UP
DON'T BELIEVE EVERY WORD THAT COMES UP ON THE INTERNET
I'M BEGINNING TO FEEL LIKE AN APP GOD, APP GOD
😡 LOOK AT THIS SHIT PHONE FROM THE FRONT TO THE BACK, DAWG, BACK DAWG
🤑 THE WAY I'M PREACHING ABOUT THESE PHONES, CALL ME AD GOD, AD GOD!
🥰 NAIL A CARD TO YOUR DOOR SAYING "ALL PHONES ARE TRASH, HA!"
🥲NAIL BEFORE THAT ANOTHER THAT SIMPLY SAYS "FUCK YOURSELF CUZ I GOT XBOX!"
😎So you be Google, I'll be Siri
You idiots, I always whinny (neigh)
😋OK, Google, I'm ready. What's the value of a penny?
GOOGLE: "ONE CENT."
HIGHLIGHTER: Ain't I a genie?
Already I'm fucking winning
🥱 Hey Siri, what's a penny?
SIRI: "THE CLOSEST JC PENNY STORE NEAR YOU IS APPROXIMATELY 21.8 MILES."
HIGHLIGHTER: I'm out of Ramen Noodles, I got no energy, Hey Poodle
Go fetch me a fucking bowl, oh crap I guess I'll have to order
That's ME
A lazy old maggot
I'm lighting my fagot
But the lighter doesn't work
Gotta order again, GODDAMNIT!
😡 ONE OF THESE DAYS I JUST WANNA MAKE SURE SOMEWHERE IN THIS SHITTY EARTH THEY'RE LIVING A TELEPHONE FREE LIFE, WITH
SOCCER FIELDS AND KIDS PLAYING, HAVING A FUN TIME!
GET A LITTLE BIT OF DAMN SUNSHINE SO YOU DON'T END UP WITH A LIFE LIKE MINE!
MOVING PAST THE AGE OF APPLES AND ANDROIDS AND WiFi!
I remember a time where once high
SPEED INTERNET DIDN'T EXIST BACK IN THE STONE AGE
WHEN WE JUST HAD RADIOS AND STEREOS AND
DVDs AND OLD CDs AND BLACK AND WHITE BORING TVs AND
SKELETON KEYs AND GIANT STEEDs!
WE HAD WISDOM! WE HAD A CHANCE!
NOW IT'S ALL JUST LIARS IN FLAMING PANTS!
AND THEY'RE TRYNA CONVINCE US THAT APPLES AND ANDROIDS AND iMACS ARE ALL THAT!
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN SMOKING WEED
WHY NOT DO WHAT WE USED TO DO AND CLIMB TREES?!
🤑 See if we can keep our children away from these stupid addictions, it's hopeless!
But I'VE found us a solution, go through a portal
Go back in a time WARP to 1304, yo
Back when no one gave a FUCK about Facebook or Messenger or Twitter
Before fucking afros
When HORSES and carriages were normal
🥰 Back before Ronald Raygun fucked the future and Donald Trump fucked whatever was left of the future that we had
(ooo)
🥲 This race between who is better, Apple or Android, now it's all in the past
Well, future
😎 But that was so 2016, now we're back so damn fast
😋 If you want an example of what is bad in our society, so glad you asked
🥱 Hey, Siri,
Sing that fast part in that popular Eminem rap
😡 UHH LUMMA DUMMA LUMMA SUMMA
🤑 YOU ARE USIN MY ACUMEN
😎 GOT A LOTTA BOOS SO HAD TO USE A TUNE TO SUPERGLUE IT
🥰 ANIMATE IT, ADD A WAY TO SCRUB 'ER
😡 SO THAT EVERYTHING I SAY IS HID AWAY FROM ALL YOU FREAKS I WANT A POTOROO
🥱 I'M MEDITATING ONLY WHEN IT'S NECESSARY NOW I GET TO FLUTTERTONGUE
🥲 IT'S OBVIOUS YOU'RE FEELING KINDA JEALOUS BABY
😎 INDICATING THAT MY SOUL'S A GATOR AND YOU'LL NEVER BREAK IT
😋 OVERRATED WAY TO MAKE A LEPRECHAUN IMMASCULATED
🥰 ONCE I TOLD MY BAE TO TAKE CONTROL OF ME
AND I GAVE HER A KISS ON HER NECK
THEN SHE TIED ME UP TO HER BED.
OH THAT'S SO PRICELESS!!
WELL THAT'S WHAT THEY DO WHEN NAKED FELLAS GIVE EM ACCESS!
Take off, this lovely bra
BATHING IN THE SIGHT OF MY ENCHANTRESS
Oh, look, 30 messages, 10 missed calls
BUT I LOSE MYSELF SEEING YOU PANTSLESS!
😋 "I dOn'T kNoW hOw To PuT dOwN mY pHoNe! ScHoOl'S jUsT tOo BoRiNg To CaRe!"
😡Lemme know when it occurs to you that your whole fucking future is depending on you
This phone is sucking your whole damn life dry
How many ways I gotta say to you to
TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE!
Yeah that's the basis of my point here
In case you didn't hear me,
TURN OFF YOUR FUCKING PHONE!!
I'll even make it easy for you, cunt, I'll stop the rap midverse
(Long, long, very long pause)
😡Fuck you!
(Another very long pause)
(exasperated sigh) IMMACULATE AS A VANILLA CAKE AND I’MMA KILL EM, MATE
NUT IN A CASE, PIDDLY UTTER RACIST, GO HIT A TRAIN FOR ALL I CARE
AND I MAY NEED AN ABORTIFACIENT AND POUR IN THIS LESSON
MY PARTICIPATION, A LITTLE TIME AND CONSIDERATION
BUT FUCK IT! LIFE’S HANDING ME LEMONS,
DRINK MARMALADE THEN!
BUT IF I CAN’T HANDLE THE WOMEN,
HOW IN THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO TAKE A VACATION?
YOU ARE GRAVELY mistaken
IF I BAKE YOU A CAKE
WHEN I GIVE IT, EAT IT
SEE MORE LIKE ME WHO’LL BREAK THEIR FORMATION
To piss em off
AND WEIGH IN HOLIDAY GRACE AND
Don’t be a mean snot
Be a king?
Think not.
Why be a
King
When you could be a
TWAT???????????